it cannot really be this hard...

all across america, people are fucking.  at parties.  fresh from the club.  on the way home.  at the bar.  me?  trying to enjoy redtube through the tears of frustration.  why did you give me your number if you had no plans to fuck me?  do you think i go to the club to pick up friends?  what kind of bullshit...

it's the week before...

and i'm horny as hell.  got pissy at redtube, do you have any idea how much bad sex is out there?  and folks actually tape it!  insanity.  a grown man doesn't know how to slap ass?  for that matter, a grown man with a bikini tan.  faking an orgasm on an amateur porn website?  really?  please people.  so, back to the hunt.  why are there no lesbian bars in miami?  are they trying to frustrate us into submission?  no matter how horny i may be, synthetic with boobs will always beat skin with hair.  let it go gentlemen...